Late at night March 7th 2018 my whole world got flipped upside down. I didn't realize it at the time but this is the day God saved my life. We had just decided to end an almost 3 year relationship and I got down on my knees and begged God to fix it. That was the first time I had prayed in almost 2 years and one of the first times I felt like God didn't come through for me. I gave up everything for this guy and suddenly it was just over. This is one of the first times I can remember God telling me "no". 2 days later I quit my job, packed up my car and drove 14 hours to Boise, Idaho. I left almost everything behind including my furniture and was about to start over completely. I prayed pretty much the whole way and tried to listen to what God wants me to do now- because I had zero plans at this point. I pulled up to my parents' house late at night and burst into tears as soon as I saw my mom.
There were a lot of tears of heartbreak at first but now I am filled with so much joy. God saved me from losing myself further than I already had. I have learned that sometimes when God tells you "no" it's okay to trust Him still. I could go on for days about everything He has taught me in the last 90ish days but you might be stuck here reading a 30 page blog post. It's almost as if God hit reset on my life and I'm 19 again. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and cry and just wonder "how in the hell did I end up in Boise, Idaho?" They're not sad tears, just tears of complete overwhelm. I have completely fallen in LOOOOVE with Boise and just can't believe I get to live here.
Since I got here I have gotten a part time job, booked 4 weddings, gave my life back to God, and now God is challenging me to do something big that I haven't done in years. Go to Africa again. I. AM. TERRIFIED. This is something that I remember saying I'll probably never do again but here I am going for a fourth time. I fully expect this experience to be one for myself as I will be revisiting who I used to be.
While I am there I will be working with my team on a Vacation Bible School for the local kiddos and working on some smaller projects with Orchard: Africa. Orchard: Africa is an organization based in South Africa that works to empower the local community through Jesus, education (especially sex education), food security, and care. My role as a short term missionary is way more important than you think. For these kids, meeting someone that tells them how loved and important they are is huge as they don't get that at home. It's incredible to watch a child's world change after they are told they are capable of anything.
Now comes the scary part and learning to trust God again is no easy task. I have to raise $2950 to go and half is due at the end of this month. I am fundraising all of it. Yikes. I you feel compelled to give click the link below and give online. If you are unable to give financially please join me in prayer over the next few months. This is incredibly nerve wracking and scary for me to do after 3 years.
If you are experiencing your own heartbreak or have officially hit rock bottom, please know that it is not over yet. You will move on. You will find yourself again. With God anything is possible.